2004 - December 16, 2013
I'm extremely sad and heart broken to report that my baby girl, Crawaly, was put to sleep last night. As prepared as we tried to be for this, I am still in shock and disbelief that she's gone. I find myself looking down at my feet wondering why I'm not tripping over her.
My last post was Friday, after a very long Thursday night with her, we rushed her back to the vet Friday morning and she spent the weekend there. The vet's office was closed on Sunday, but the vet went in several times to give her medication, feed her through the feeding tube and phone us with updates. We received good news, and then a few hours later there would be bad news.. it was very stressful and I have never felt so many highs and lows in one weekend.
Monday, we were told that she couldn't come home - that a lot of the medication she was receiving was through the IV and that wasn't an option. So, we could continue to pay $300 a day/night for her to stay there and see what happens, or we could have her euthanized. I had a feeling she was going to pull through, and after much discussion, we decided we would visit her on my lunch hour and if we noticed any improvement at all, we would give her a couple more days.
When we stopped at lunch, she sat right up and seemed much more active - purring and rolling around.. So, regardless of the financial burden, we said we would keep her there another day or two and see what happens. The vet recommended having another chest x-ray done because she had developed a bit of a cough. We told them to go ahead, and I went back to work, waiting for the phone call.
They didn't find anything in the x-ray that would be the cause of the cough, so they ran another blood test to see if her levels had improved at all. She called me back at work within 30 minutes with the bad news - her levels were much, much worse. Her liver was not responding and she was shutting down. They believed at this point the cough was caused by dangerously low levels of potassium. They advised her only chance was a blood transfusion, but even that, might not work or could make her feel better for only 24 hours.. They were convinced now that it was terminal.
I decided in that moment, that she had enough done to her and it was time to let her go. I called Barry and caught him just before he walked into work, thankfully he came back and picked me up. I was so scared that I would have to do this alone, and I couldn't not be with my baby girl when she passed, no matter how hard it was for me.
They let us take her into the quiet room to have some time with her and it was then I noticed how much worse it was. The downward spiral she took in the few hours since we had last seen her were shocking.. she was struggling to breath by this point and looked ready to go. I held her, calmed her, told her she was a brave, good girl and that it was going to be okay. We were so worried that she was going to pass in my arms before we got the veterinarian back in the room to perform the procedure.
I have had a lot of tough days in my life, but this is right up there.
I know to most people she is just a cat, but to me, and to us, she was so much more than that. She has been with me for almost 10 years. I still remember the night she came to the apartment window as a tiny kitten meowing, hungry and wet from the rain. I scooped her up and haven't let her go since. We had a special bond, and she didn't take too well to a lot of people. She was picky with her humans, and I couldn't leave a room without her following behind me! I will miss that, and it will be a long time before I stop looking behind me, or in front of me, when I walk around our home.
She was a sweetheart with an old soul and will be truly, truly missed.
I know in my heart that we tried as much as we could, and that she fought as hard as she could. It was just her time, but it doesn't mend my heart or make me miss her any less.