Money Can Change People

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

It's an unfortunate thing, but it's true - money can change people, in the worst possible of ways. I've learned this a lot in the last couple of years and it makes me sad in a way, but happy in another way because you can see how people's true colours come out when money is involved.
 
I have wanted to write this post for a long time, and since my parent's estate affairs are finally coming to an end, it's time to get this out there.
 
 
The first example of this is when my Mom's Great Aunt included my mom and her sister in her will, but none of my uncles. For some reason, my uncle's believed it was my mom and aunt's fault that they weren't included in the will. No, sorry, you weren't included because you never visited her while she was alive or had anything to do with her. My mom and my aunt did. Case closed. But no, they cut my mom out of their lives for no reason other then jealousy and greed over the inheritance, and it always disgusted me. 
 
One uncle was worse then the rest. He completely cut her out of his life, wouldn't return phone calls, ignored her at a funeral, etc.. I know what a loving and wonderful woman my mom was, and I knew that this hurt her to no end. This was a brother that she had raised herself as there was such a big age difference and my grandmother wasn't around during their childhood. It wasn't until my mom was in the hospital with a brain tumor that he grew up and came to see her a few days before she passed away. I should have felt resentment towards him for the way he treated her for those years, but I could see how happy she was that he was there, that I couldn't do anything else but smile for her.
 
Another example, when my parents passed away in 2012 my brothers and I had to deal with selling our childhood home, 3 vehicles, a trailer in Florida and all household contents. It was difficult enough without certain family members trying to help themselves out, and looking back, I can honestly say that. At the time, I was so in shock that I didn't realize how rude, greedy and money hungry it was of a certain uncle to inquire about the trailer in Florida to each one of us at my father's funeral. But, looking back, it disgusts me. 
 
Almost as much as my aunt telling my brother to get my dad's wallet and take cash out - while he was in the hospital fighting for his life. 
 
Money has never been important to me - well, it is important, but not a top priority, and especially not when my father is fighting for his life in the hospital.
 
My other brother and my husband spoke to my aunt in the hospital about it, basically telling her to butt out and how wrong it is to do things like, or talk about things like that and how inappropriate it was, and what does she do? She went home and wrote on facebook about what an asshole my husband (fiance at the time) was, not my brother, just my fiance. And when did I read this posting? As soon as I got home from the hospital, after watching my father take his last breathe.
 
So many little moments like that just make the whole year of 2012 even more tragic then it already was. All of our family members that wanted to keep in touch, told us to call if you need anything, etc.. I haven't heard from since my wedding in April, which makes me know that I am better off without people like that in my life. As much as I know my parents, and especially my mom, wouldn't be happy with it - it is the way it is.
 
My brothers and I aren't super close, but we still communicate because we really are all that is left of our family, and that's the one thing I can hold onto.

But, the point of this is - money truly does change people and bring out the worst. I never want to become anything like that, and am so happy that I have better priorities in my life. I would rather be happy and healthy then be alone with tons of money. True happiness, self respect and being true to who you are is more important then a million dollars.
 
 
 

3 comments:

  1. You are better off, if they're going to put something like money ahead of you. It definitely changes people and sadly you see it so much more when there's a death. The ugly really comes out then, which is the worst possible time for it.

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  2. ugh that is SO awful that you had to deal with that with family, especially at such tough times. luckily i haven't had to deal with anything similar yet, but I can totally see how it could be an issue.

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  3. This is so sad. :( Money really can tear families apart. You are wise to see past the dollar signs in to what is truly important in life!

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