Blogtember: A moment when my life took a turn

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

 Linking up again for Blogtember! 

Today's prompt is: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

Not to be a downer, but as I was thinking about this prompt, the only 2 moments that came to my mind were regarding my parents. Not that I want to relive them again in words, but it's all I can think of when I try to think of a moment changed my life.

First was the moment I realized that my mom wasn't as unbreakable as I had thought. A little of the back story first: My mom had been sick for months. She tried her best to hide it, blame it on other things - for example, she had fallen out of bed a few times, and blamed the dog, or her mattress topper, anything she could so that people wouldn't worry about her, but we did anyway. It was early November when things really started to get noticeable with her. She almost flooded their house by leaving the water running with the plug in; she started running the dishes and then went to bathroom and completely forgot about it. She almost burned the house down when she was cooking eggs on the stove and then fell asleep on the couch. We knew this wasn't her and something was wrong. We convinced her many times (I think 3 to be exact) to go to the emergency room, which she did after much reluctance.. And each time, they said there was nothing wrong and sent her home, much to everyone's dismay.

I remember one night my dad called me in a panic. He had gone out for a few hours to play cards with his friends, and when he returned home, he discovered my mom had fallen getting out of the shower and she couldn't get up on her own and he couldn't help her up by himself. Barry was at work and I tried desperately to reach him, but luckily, my brother drove out that night and helped her up off the floor. She was covered in bruises from that fall, and it was finally that very next day, that she finally admitted herself that something was wrong, so we called an ambulance. We hoped that if she came into the emergency room on an ambulance that they would take things more seriously, which they did. They ended up giving her a cat scan (she had an appointment to have one done through her family doctor but it wasn't scheduled for months).

I had just gotten home from work that day when my dad called saying that we all needed to talk, and that my brother would be over soon to pick me up and we would be heading up to the hospital to meet him there.

My brother and my sister in law picked me up within minutes, we drove back to their place and walked over to the hospital, which was only a block or two away. My sister in law was pushing my niece in her stroller, and my brother ended up walking up ahead and getting across the street before we did. As we waited for the light to change, he went on ahead inside the hospital.

As soon as the automatic doors to emergency opened, I saw my brother and my dad standing there, leaning against a wall. My father was in tears and I knew immediately my life would be forever changed. I wanted to know what was happening, but my dad could hardly speak he was crying to much - this was something I had never seen from him before. He finally managed to get out in between sobs, "Your mother has a brain tumor". I think my brain immediately went into denial, shock and fear all at the same moment. I didn't know what to say or how to react, I just knew that my life would be changed forever from that moment on, and I was right.

Second, was the night my father had his stroke, which was almost exactly 10 months later from when my mom passed away. Barry and I were sitting at home, watching tv .. I think it was around 7pm or 7:30pm. In the evening, we always have our phone ringer off due to a large number of annoying telemarketer calls we receive. I got up from my chair and noticed the phone flashing that there was a new voicemail message.

I checked the callers list and saw that my dad's cellphone had called just a minute or two prior. I called in and listened to the voicemail. That voicemail changed my life forever. It was my dad's friend Karen who left the voicemail, she was with my dad in his car waiting for an ambulance and she said, 'He thinks he has had a heart attack or a stroke.'

I am grateful for whatever strength I had that kept me from falling to the floor. I replayed the message for Barry, and at first, we thought maybe it was a poor joke. My dad was always a joker and played some of the weirdest jokes on people, but I could tell from the fear in her voice that she wasn't acting.

 The next few days were a blur and there were a lot more moments in that time that changed my life, but that initial voicemail was the changer. I knew at that moment that things were going to change, yet again.

I didn't know at the time of either of these moments just the extent of how my life would change and what I would lose, but I knew they had changed my life and everything I had known, somehow.



  1. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure it's still not easy to relive these moments even years later. I'm sure these moments made you so much stronger than I'm sure you even know.

  2. so sorry to hear about these moments! i can only imagine. we found out a few years ago that my mother had a brain tumor, but knock on wood they were able to remove it and it has not come back. she has complications from it, but is still here. so i feel for you and your loss.

  3. I am so sorry. :( Thank you for sharing.



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